No easy way out.

There was once a programmer who was attached to the court of the warlord of Wu. The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design, an accounting package or an operating system?"

"An operating system." replied the programmer.

The warlord uttered an exclamation of disbelief: "Surely an accounting package is trivial next to the complexity of an operating system."

"Not so." said the programmer, "When designing an accounting package, the programmer operates as a mediator between people having different ideas, how it must operate, how its reports must appear, and how it must conform to the tax laws. By contrast, an operating system is not limited by outside appearances. When designing an operating system, the programmer seeks the simplest harmony between machine and ideas. This is why an operating system is easier to design."

The warlord of Wu nodded and smiled: "That is all good and well, but which is easier to debug?"

The programmer made no reply.

It's Friday!

今天心情不错，又上来涂鸦。

周末，公司上下都无心做事，只等晚上的Halloween Party，我继续在网上看我的<红楼梦>，间歇中借个小丑帽子带着玩。

It's better to leave unsaid what's left unspoken.

刚认识新朋友的时候大多是舒服的，我现在越来越沉溺于这种感觉，距离感很强，总是不自觉划定自己的comfortable zone，不是自己的我也装不出，只是不知道自己能够让别人靠多近，变化有时倒给我安全感，这块写字版也是。

我并不觉得难过，有时别人不轻不重地表达一些不满，我只想说，过了这个阶段，也许就会明白，It's better to leave unsaid what's left unspoken.

看了玎玎的博，决定再看一遍<红楼梦>，以前总是很难静下来看书，现在才慢慢找到读书的乐趣，最近我总是温习旧书旧电影，别有一番趣味。

无题

最近喜欢听Norah Jones的歌，爵士风格让我感觉是在KC入夜的Plaza闲逛。

C的space公开了，好像我们经常会在差不多的时间怀一些相似而不同的感受或作一些相似而不同的决定，感觉还挺亲切。

理解不理解，我现在觉得很好笑，说来说去就是没有幸福感。可悲的是，大多数时候，我们即不愿和盘托出，又无法全数保留；即渴望被理解，又害怕被看穿。

Stand Up for Yourself --- Be Assertive

We are often confronted with situations in which we must stand up for ourselves. The way we act at this time often plays a large role in the final outcome.

Non-assertiveness is a passive way of dealing with confrontive situations. This type of behavior often results in our allowing others to determine what happens in our lives, producing feelings of helplessness, loneliness, and poor self-concept. We may also be angry and depressed at letting others control us. Non-assertive communication is usually indirect and not completely honest, which traps the thoughts and feelings we have inside us. These unexpressed emotions can lead to stress and its resulting physical problems.

Since non-assertiveness is often used when we want a relationship to continue but are unsure about the consequences of standing up for ourselves, it is ironic that non-assertiveness generally leads to interpersonal problems. While one conflict may be avoided, future interactions will be tainted by the lack of direct expression of thoughts and feelings. The other person will inevitably notice something wrong, either by our withdrawal, our sarcasm, or our inappropriate reactions to other incidents, but s/he will not know the real reason for our feelings, and, thus, will be unable to do anything about it.

A second method of dealing with such situations is aggression. While aggression certainly expresses our displeasure with a situation, and we may even get our way, it does not show sufficient respect for the rights of others. They may feel devalued or humiliated by the experience and will likely lose respect for, and positive opinions of, us. Such outbursts often lead to feelings of guilt and frustration. Despite controlling the situation, we may have significantly harmed the relationship and may still not have made the other person understand our perspective.

Assertiveness may be defined as expressing our own needs, wants, and basic rights as a person without violating the rights of others. It involves open and honest interaction directed at the person to whom it is intended. Assertive behavior shows that we respect others and ourselves, and, in turn, elicits respect from others. It also promotes self-confidence, self-control, and feelings of positive self-worth.

In addition, assertiveness is the most effective means for solving interpersonal problems. Since assertive communication is direct, we confront the source of the problems, enabling our message to be heard without distortion. Being open and honest aids in maintaining a good and respectful relationship with the other person, so future dealings will likely be positive.

Assertiveness is not a skill with which people are born. To become more assertive, you must first recognize that you have the right to take care of yourself and to sometimes put your needs ahead of others. Then you need to learn and practice assertive thinking and behavior. When practicing to be more assertive, it is helpful to get feedback from someone you trust. It is easy to undermine what we say by our facial expressions and gestures. We may also go to the opposite extreme of behavior (e.g., non-assertive to aggressive) in our attempts. For these reasons, assertiveness training has become quite common in the last several years. Both individually and in groups, the skills of assertiveness can be acquired in a safe and supportive atmosphere.

解

有人说，生活很简单，简单到只需要三言两语就能记录下来，比如吃了什么，做了什么，和什么人在一起，去了哪里。而心情的变化就需要大量的文字来堆砌，所谓“郁闷产生灵感”，心情不好的时候往往才能能写出很多文字。所以能用三言两语来描述生活是种幸运。

对此真是深有体会，洋洋洒洒长篇大论多为心里郁结，回过头来看看倒也情真意切，至少还能感动自己。现在越来越懒得写了，一个人生活的3年，对付自己心情变换早已得心应手，文字宣泄，于事无补，读书睡觉，逛街消遣，阿Q一下也好。

自从搬到纽约，我一直本着专心工作认真生活的积极态度，公司公寓两点一线，虽然冷清，却也觉得淡泊明志。

安定了一些，便又想着回国，和好友一通电话，才明白自己的生活是在当下，对过去的复杂心情仍然剪不断理还乱，更要命的是3年光景，与上海我只是旧人故事，自己却无法把时间填满，也深知自己的性情脾气，志趣喜好，最终承认自己暂无回国打算，以后也不用自欺欺人。

在家久了，又总觉得有点自闭倾向，Jenny听我说起自己的症状，不屑地说一年前我讲过同样的话，后来便经常找不到人了。于是我安慰自己道，时间一到在家呆不下去了自己就会出去走动的。其实，太过拥挤了又常觉得在家百般自在百般好，所以无论怎样，怎么舒服怎么好。

眼下两个大问题都得解，真是欲解眉间事，须问旁观人。

下一站

小学时，书包里的意外出现过我想要的礼物，遗失过一把为我挡住风雨的伞，清晨校园里打扫操场的好学生，永远留在下巴上的钢笔墨汁。

初中时，两小无猜的人，在夕阳下的巷口间来回的走，信任是在水泥柱上写下一个名字，在彼此面前流泪；勇敢是可以迎接对方的目光，说令人难堪的话题；矛盾是无忧无虑的岁月和故作深沉的心情。

高中时，快乐是可以朝夕相处，感动是看到别人笔下的<流年>，简单是无所谓将来的付出，幸福是可以怀抱希望。

大学里，清晨校车上止不住的眼泪，黄昏校园里缓缓唱出的<矜持>。沉默是一种坚定，不坚定则是伤害。

都是清晨地铁上闪过的画面。

以前有过很多次我觉得自己很接近幸福，如今我按步就班做自己认为该做的事，相信只有沉默才能坚强，偶尔睁大眼睛愣愣发呆只是不想让眼泪掉下来，时常想到里的台词：实现梦想并不等于得到幸福。

生活本不易也不可能完美，但至少我觉得自己是安全的。所以我想我会在这个陌生的地方继续漂泊下去，也许最终有一天我会找到一些归属感，也或者有一天，我可以得到不曾期待过的幸福，那么，我便可以忘却，释然。