Fortune Cookie

"Friends long absent are coming back to you." =)

When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the clouds darken up the skyway
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun
Just a step beyond the rain

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow
Why oh why can't I?

Praying Our Fears

Psalm 3:1-8 Genesis 15:1, 8

Don't deny or vent your emotions. Instead, pray about them, present them in the presence of God, and process them there.

David: I will NOT fear.

A. Two Levels Down Into The Fear (v.1-2)

Level 1. Fear
Level 2. Anxiety - abiding feeling of hollowness, fragility, sense of self threatened

Healthy Fear: specific, constructive, to protect, being afraid of doing wrong
Unhealthy Fear: amorphous, generalized, destructive, not knowing what is exactly wrong - a threat to your identity, disables and paralyzes you to make decisions

B. Four Steps Out (v.3-8)

Follow Your Threat
"You are a shield around me." -> a shield with which you are going into the danger, it only works when you go forward, when you follow Christ, when you obey. No matter how bad things are, He's going to shield you. If God let you get hurt today, He's trying to save you from a greater hurt tomorrow. It won't help if you run away, it won't work if you are going backwards.

Over and over again, trying to do the right thing, trying to follow Christ, praying, hoping, obeying and suffering... seems like you are placing yourself into a war, but if you try to go backward, it's not there at all, God's protection is only there if you go forward.

Relocate Your Glory
"You are my glory." - David found what he can build his identity on. You should put your glory in something safe, so that you don't need to fear anything. Your anxiety is like smoke.

"You lift up my head." - If you get His approval, there's no need to fear anything anymore. Don't put your glory in something that will die.

See the Substitute
Genesis 15:1 "I am your shield, you very great reward."
Genesis 15:8 "How can I know?"

Me: How do I know God is proud of me even if I fail?
God: Even if I need to pay the price of your disobedience, I'm still going to bless you.

He values us, He loves us, we are significant to Him.

Remember the People
The opposite of fear is love, perfect love casts out fear. Fear is self-centerness, love is self-giving.

You fear? Go through it. Suck it up. God will heal you through your fears, He will heal of your fears.

Dear God, make Yourself real to me, so that You can become my glory. Amen.

Praying Our Tears

Expect the Tears

1. Expect the tears even when you are walking with God.
2. Life could be like a desert even if we don't do anything wrong.
3. “Conversion”: And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. -- Ezekiel 36:26
4. When the Gospel changes your heart, when God comes to your heart, you heart becomes more like a heart, it’s getting softer, more vulnerable, and more touchable. You may feel the evil and the pain around you, you didn't feel it before, b/c you were using a self-defense mechanism.
5. Christians growing in Christ should expect to cry more.
6. I want to be more like Christ!
7. If you don't expect tears you'll always be crying about two things, those that make you weep and the weeping (those that grieve you and the fact that you grieved).

Invest the Tears

1. Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. -- Psalm 126:5
2. Don't avoid your tears, don't just express your tears, but plant your tears, sow your tears.
3. Don't waste your sorrows, invest and plant them, they produce joy, see them as opportunities for growth.
4. What kind of joy you really need? --> The joy comes through the tears.
5. How to sow and plant your tears? Pray!
6. Come to God with the tears, both the tears and the weeper will be transformed.

Pray the Tears

1. Put your tears in prayer into three things:
a. Realization of Grace
b. Vision of the Cross
c. Assurance of Glory
2. It's safe to pour your heart out. He knows. He knows how we speak when we are desperate. He understands when the feelings are so overwhelming that we say desperate words, wrong things.
3. "It's safe to come to Me." - Realization of Grace
"Plant your tears with a vision of the cross." - Vision of the Cross
4. He keeps coming to me even I say "turn away".
5. Take your tears, and think about Him crying on the cross. "What's wrong?" --> Look at the cross! He's not punishing you. He's abandoning himself. He was rejected for you!
6. Get rid of self-pity. Weeping is fine. NO weeping for self-pity!
7. My suffering is nothing compared to what He has done for me.
8. You'll be humbled by your tears.
9. No lamentation, confession, meditation, just PRAISE. All true prayers pursued far enough will become praise. It's not getting there easily, quickly. Don't rush it, don't try to push it.
10. Grief is like fear, you're afraid that it's never getting better, but if you know that all prayers will end in praise and you'll be with Him forever, are you happy enough to be a weeper?

Father, make me happy enough to weep, help me know how to sow my tears. Amen.

狠狠一跤

昨天在家居然摔了一跤，瞬间，眼前一片空白，然后是疼痛感，磕在台阶上，手臂，后腰，右肩，好疼。

早上才知道是摔伤了，后腰全青了，磕破的地方也显出来，脖子只能向右转30度... 我还硬是去了公司，哎～明天在家上班！

姑妈上周末来纽约，陪她逛了一天，大学以来，每次和她见面我总能找到一些想要的东西，在KC的两年，我以为找到了自己的方向，想要的生活，工作2年多了，现在我却很迷惘，时常觉得没有动力，感觉力不从心。

最近状态不是很好，每天好象都在做昨天该做的事，实在很受不了自己。

这么一摔，我心里倒感觉有点释然。

快一年了，我都没有休息过，有时强迫自己快速调整，抖抖灰继续往前走。是该给自己放假了，再坚持一个月！

I'm stressed out...

Balloon - Princess

God Loves a Cheerful Giver

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. - 2 Corinthians 9:7

今天的Planning Meeting特别长，我是真的觉得很累，心情不是很好。

过去总是厌倦不真实的微笑，可是现在我却总是要自己微笑，变成一种习惯。

我喜欢向日葵，有时我希望自己能变成一片向日葵，总是迎着太阳，总是给人快乐的感觉。

哎，有点笑不出来。

Proverbs 20:5

I always like Proverbs 20:5.

The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out.

I want to know my purpose, my direction, my way for the day…

“What do I do?” I asked the Teacher.
“Let me dive into your heart and I’ll tell you,” He answered.
“Okay,” I said, “But how?”
“Just open it up.” He instructed.
So I opened the tiny door sealing shut my deep and dark heart. Crash! The waves of deep waters found therein threw themselves against the banks of the now open door.
“But it’s so dark and deep, you’ll drown in there!” I voiced my fears.
“I can go anywhere,” said the Teacher and in a breath He was gone.
I felt the gentle slip of his plunge even in the tempest waters of my heart. Before my thoughts were compete, there He was standing in front of me again.
“Drink this.” He handed me a cup of cold water. I drank.
In an instant I knew my purpose for living, my direction for that moment and my way for that day.
“Your heart is deep and dark. If you dive in searching for answers, you’ll drown in confusion, but if you ask Me I will gladly go to the deepest depths of dark waters to draw out for you the small cup of understanding you seek. All you must do is ask and believe whatever I give is the only way!”

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. -- James 1:5-8

The “purposes” of our lives, those things that really and truly drive us on a daily basis, are deep seated and difficult to discern, because we often try hard to fit in that we forget to be ourselves.

But “a man of understanding” realizes that what we see on the surface is often a false front for what we want others to think we are. He is patient and kind, and works with us to draw out what we really are, nurturing it when possible, correcting it when necessary. He truly understands the inner conflict that goes on within all of us.

Times and Seasons

It is said that there is a time when you believes in Santa Claus, a time when you no longer believes in Santa Claus, a time when you are Santa Claus, and a time when you look like Santa Claus.

Interesting, isn’t it? This reminds me of Ecclesiastes 3:1-15, “a time for everything”.

God appoints the times and seasons under the sun, spring becomes summer, summer becomes fall, fall becomes winter, winter becomes spring… He also appoints different times and seasons of your life, the happy and the sad, the easy and the difficult. He exalts and humbles the same person. Sometimes you may wonder if God has it all together, as it doesn't seem to be doing that well. But God does have it all under control. He has all the timing, 20 years to grow an oak tree, a lifetime to raise up a man, complicated work.

We live in a world of change, but God doesn’t change. Everything has its purpose. You simply need to be patient for the full revelation of God's providence. He has set everything for its time, the past and the future are equally open to Him. However you will never have all the answers you need, because God designed it to be that way: “(v.11) He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.” What can we do then?

“Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.” - Psalm 37:4-5

围城

人与人之间，围城啊围城。觉得不自由，不再进退自如。

过了一个简单的周末，把所有的信笺都整理了，补了睡眠和维他命，一个人的时间，才更了解自己一些。

看到别人的软弱，有点难过，可是这些都是人生的必修课，我能陪伴一段路程，但无法代替别人成长。

这个世界不符合我们的梦想，但是我们又不能舍弃梦想。

把你自己的事做好， 有时已经足够。